Factors
Influencing the Grief Process
There
are so many factors influencing the grief process that when we put
them together, there are nearly infinite combinations. This is why
grief seems so complex and what makes each grieving experience
completely unique. For the sake of simplicity, we divide these
factors into five groups.
The
nature of the loss
What
was your relationship to the person who died (parent, sibling,
friend, colleague)?
What
were the feelings between you and the person who died (close,
indifferent, ambivalent, abusive)?
What
was the amount of unfinished business?
What
were some of the secondary losses as a result of the death
(financial, social, personal)?
It’s
important to never assume the significance of a death for an
individual. For example, someone may grieve more over the death of
their grandparent whom they had a very close relationship with, than
over the death of their parent.
The
characteristics of the mourner
What
are your coping behaviours in general? Are you someone who faces
things head on or is your tendency to withdraw and avoid things? Do
you become aggressive during challenging times and/or abuse
substances? Sometimes our coping strategies can become exaggerated
after a loss.
What
is your previous experience with loss?
What
is your social, cultural, and ethnic background?
What
are your spiritual or religious beliefs?
What
are your family rituals and traditions around death?
What
is the state of your emotional health?
What
is your age and level of maturity?
The
characteristics of the death
Was
there a lengthy illness before the death or was it sudden?
Was
the death violent in nature?
Did
more than one person die at the same time or were there a series of
deaths close together?
Social
factors
What
is your support system and if you have one are you using it? It is
generally accepted that those who receive support do better than
those who don’t.
What
is your economic, occupational and educational status?
Was
there a funeral service, memorial service or celebration of life?
Are
there other stresses or crises currently going on in addition to the
death?
Physiological
factors
Are
you getting enough rest and sleep?
Are
you exercising? Exercise can provide a natural anti-depressant
effect which is helpful during grief.
Are
you eating well?
What
is your current state of health?
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Do
you have any addictions? (alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, drugs,
food.) The use of drugs, sedatives, and/or alcohol is not recommended
as they inhibit the grief process.
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